Neutral voice: worked cases¶
These fictional packets supply the facts for each exercise. They do not establish real product behavior or current offer terms. The revisions show how accuracy and a connected voice can work together.
Give a partial fix its proper size¶
Facts: Proof Viewer 2.4 reduces preview flicker on Windows. Flicker can still occur during zoom. The record says nothing about exports.
Draft:
Version 2.4 eliminates flicker and makes every export effortless.
Revision:
Proof Viewer 2.4 reduces preview flicker on Windows. Flicker can still occur when you zoom.
The improvement and its boundary stay together. The second sentence repeats “flicker” because the limit belongs to that symptom. “It may still happen” would be less exact after a draft that also mentioned exports. No extra flourish is needed for a short fix notice.
Let a distinction develop¶
Facts: a specimen viewer displays a chosen paragraph. A Size control changes its preview size without changing the source document. It does not assess readability. No export behavior is supplied.
Flat draft:
There is a Size control. It changes the preview size. The document is unchanged. Readability is not assessed.
Revision for a documentation introduction:
Follow the same paragraph at a different scale. Size changes the preview while leaving the source document unchanged, so you can inspect the words without resizing that document. You judge how they read; the viewer does not assess readability.
The paragraph remains the subject while the scale changes. The middle sentence connects the control to its boundary; the ending makes the division of work explicit. It adds no export claim, readability guarantee or automatic judgment.
For a local notice, the same facts need less development:
Size changes the preview size, not the source document. The viewer does not assess readability.
Choose by surface. The longer version gives attention a route; the shorter one answers a nearby question.
Describe the current state without inventing history¶
Facts: Shape Editor supports rectangular selections. No history is supplied.
Draft:
Previously, selection was limited to single objects. Now you can select a rectangle.
Revision:
Shape Editor supports rectangular selections.
The short result is sufficient because the source supplies only one capability. A story about the earlier method would not improve this sentence; it would change what the sentence claims.
Use a supported comparison to carry a thought¶
Facts: Quick Find searches names in version 1, and names plus notes in version 2. No speed measurement or matching algorithm is supplied.
Draft:
Quick Find 2 is dramatically faster and more powerful than ever.
Compact revision:
Quick Find 2 searches names and notes. Version 1 searched names only.
More developed introduction:
A name is no longer the only place Quick Find looks. Version 2 searches notes as well as names, extending the search to information that version 1 did not include.
The second treatment follows the changed scope. It does not promise to find all relevant information or explain an undocumented search algorithm. Use the compact version when the reader needs a release entry; use the introduction when the changed scope deserves explanation.
Give a notice its action and uncertainty¶
Facts: a license expires on 30 September 2026. The customer can renew from the account’s Renew page. No price or currency is supplied.
Draft notice:
Your license expires on 30 September 2026. To renew, open the Renew page in your account. [CONFIRM OFFER: renewal price and currency]
The date gives the action a reason. The marker occupies the missing terms rather than concealing a guessed price. This is still a draft. Do not add continuity of service, an automatic charge or a grace period without evidence.
Preserve a voice when the task is small¶
Facts: this wording is approved; the user requests typo fixes only.
Draft:
The preview updates as you work.
If the file contains notes, Quick Find includes them in its results.
Return it unchanged. The separate paragraphs and conditional are useful, and there is no typo to repair. A more elaborate explanation would exceed the edit. Positive craft includes recognizing when the writer already supplied the rhythm.
Keep uncertainty inside the explanation¶
Facts: rebuilding the preview may reduce flicker. The cause is unknown.
Draft:
Rebuild the preview to fix the damaged cache that causes flicker.
Revision:
Rebuilding the preview may reduce flicker. The cause has not been established.
The possibility stays attached to the proposed effect. The second sentence prevents the reader from treating a possible remedy as a diagnosis. Do not move “may” into a distant note while leaving the main sentence certain.
Try the method on new material¶
Fictional facts: a file list displays a name and a status for each item. Statuses are Ready and Incomplete. The list neither changes the files nor repairs them. No filtering or sorting controls are supplied.
Write a documentation introduction that follows one file from its name to its status. Then write a local notice about the list’s limits. In the second pass, check that the introduction connects details instead of listing them, and that the notice answers directly. Neither may turn Incomplete into a diagnosis or invent a repair action.